Still Breathing
by Annie Dash
Summary: Both their hearts are torn apart. Somehow, their lives become intertwined when secrets are shared. Maya and Lucas fic. This'll get pretty depressing quickly, but I hope you guys still enjoy it.
1. Prologue

I really hope you guys enjoy the prologue to this story. Please review, and I will try to update soon. :)

**Prologue**

After a certain point, it got hard to differentiate the lies from the truth. The jokes became crueler, the number of laughs decreased, and life continued for everyone else. She built up walls to defend from anyone who might consider questioning her motives toward Ranger Rick, and her heart grew colder, as she realized she had successfully made an enemy.

After a certain point, it became impossible for him to tip his imaginary hat in response to her name-calling and constant jeering. Her words stung, and considering how awful she made him feel, she might as well have taken a gun to his head or a knife to his throat, neither of which happened.

However, blades and shards of glass had been in close contact with pale wrists, in the middle of the night, as the two mourned over what they lost.

By sophomore year, Lucas had dated Riley with no success, and afterward, broke her heart unintentionally. The two never spoke of it and rarely acknowledged each other's presences. Lucas entered a one-sided relationship with a girl named Amelia, who loved everything about Lucas that he would tell her. She never noticed the scars on his wrists or, more importantly, the fact that he didn't really love her. However, it was a high school relationship, so love didn't really matter in the first place.

Maya, on the other hand, had entered a series of relationships with guys who convinced her to take part in activities such as smoking, graffiti, and drinking, among other things. Her friendship with Riley ended at the end of ninth grade when she discovered that Maya was smoking marijuana and never told her. Maya's dad hadn't written to her in over two years, and from the few things her mom had mentioned, he was very well off and had a beautiful family. He never paid child support checks to Katy Hart, who worked two jobs to pay off her bills.

So every night Maya would take a razor or a piece of glass and slide it over her wrists, carefully hiding the cuts with armbands, thanking every god she could think of that she wasn't required to take a gym class that year. Each time she bled, it was like a punishment: for hurting Riley, pushing away Lucas and Farkle, never being able to hold a stable relationship, and chasing her father away through her very existence.

This was how Lucas Friar and Maya Hart ended up in different rooms, in different situations, with similar thoughts, and how they both took out all-encompassing depressions in the same manner: with a blade and a wrist.

A/N: Please don't use cutting as a mechanism to get through difficult situations in your life. I know from personal experience that it just doesn't work. And if you need help with anything, just PM me if you want to talk or go to a counselor or therapist because you don't deserve to feel upset about anything.


	2. Chapter 1: Mr Perfect

**Trigger Warning**: Self harm and Depression

I'll be trying to update every Wednesday. Hope you enjoy :)

Chapter 1

Mr. Perfect

His dad wanted him to be an athlete. Even a gym teacher, a CEO, or an office worker would be better than a veterinarian. As a veteran of Iraq, he was rather strict and tended to show his anger with fists and his love with hands. A clap on the back was his highest praise, while Lucas had grown quite accustomed to his father slapping his knuckles and back with rulers and wooden spoons as punishment. From his father's eyes, it worked. Lucas was never severely injured, nothing left a mark, and he grew up to be a respectable young man who cared deeply for people. He made straight As, was the only sophomore on the varsity baseball team, and was a starting quarterback on the junior varsity football team.

Lucas did everything other people wanted him to do. He was Mr. Perfect. He held Amelia's hand and supported her, called his father "sir", even when the expectations were simply too much, and came home each day to help his mother get work done around the apartment. Even from Texas, halfway across the country, his father had remarkable power over the young man. Lucas loathed it.

However, he did what he had to do. His grades had never been better, and his self-esteem had never been lower. The blonde beauty who sat across the room from him stopped looking him in the eyes when they passed in the halls. The brunette he once believed he could have loved never made scenes in class and grew considerably more quiet. His genius best friend was a successful student who had been in a committed relationship with Smackle for almost two years. They talked every once in awhile, but it felt forced: fake laughs, a "How are you?" just because it felt like the right thing to ask, maybe a hug if one of them was particularly upset and decided to share. And Zay, who Lucas would have insisted was his best friend for the first 15 years of his life, was just another member of the football team.

As much as it hurt, as he watched his daughter's friend group collapse into dust, all Cory Matthews could do was watch. No one asked for help or acknowledged anything was wrong until everything was gone.

...

October was his busiest month, Lucas decided, as he entered first period almost twenty minutes late. He overslept again, after staying up half the night due to football practice, homework from his two AP classes, and a bloody wrist. He glanced in Maya's direction before sitting next to Amelia, who flashed her beautiful smile and touched his hand.

"Glad you decided to make it, Mr. Friar," Cory observed.

"Sorry Mr. Matthews. I overslept and was running a little late."

"Well, we started the lesson without you. Get the notes from someone else on your on time." He began to discuss where their lesson had stopped the day before: Franklin Roosevelt and the New Deal. Lucas struggled to pay attention and simply hoped that he could maintain his A in the class. Despite Mr. Matthews's insistence that he was an impartial grader, Lucas would be willing to swear on his life that Cory had grown harsher after Lucas broke up with his daughter.

The bell rang, and Amelia turned to look at him. "So that's why you weren't in the cafeteria this morning, sleepyhead." She held his face in her hands and kissed him, not caring that Mr. Matthews and Riley were still in the classroom. The pair stood up and walked to their second class together.

"Yeah, you'd think I'd be used to staying up late with football and homework, but my body just can't handle the five hours of sleep I get each night. And that's if I'm lucky."

Amelia rubbed his back comfortingly. "It'll all pay off Lukie." Lucas tried not to groan at the nickname he resented. It was times like these when he missed Huckleberry, Ranger Rick, and Bucky McBoingboing the most. "When we apply to colleges senior year, you'll get in somewhere great. Then we only have four years till the two of us are off in the real world with wonderful jobs, a nice house, and a good night's sleep."

"Of course, Amelia. I'll push through it. Thanks for keeping me sane," he replied, smiling, hoping it didn't look fake. The two had only been dating for three months, yet she insisted that the pair would get married one day, have kids, and live their entire lives together. While Riley had gotten like that too, it was way back in middle school and right before their freshman year. Besides, that's just who she was. However, when Amelia discussed their future together, it terrified him. He wanted to love her, but he couldn't. There was always something else getting in the way, and he couldn't say he was completely sure what it was.

"Do you have football practice tonight?"

"Nope, I'm all yours." Lucas had been planning on getting some much-needed rest, but he couldn't find the willpower to disappoint his girlfriend.

"Great, come over at seven. It can just be the two of us for once." They hugged and kissed, and Lucas smiled, telling himself that the night would be fun. He could be happy. He really could.

...

He arrived at Amelia's five minutes early and walked in, stopping in to speak to her mother first.

"Lucas," she said, giving him a hug. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you, Mrs. Long." She offered him a homemade cookie, and he took one, thinking of his own mother. One of the perks of dating Amelia was that Mrs. Long was just as kind and caring as his mom. She could actually cook, however, unlike Mrs. Friar, whose healthy desserts and well-balanced meals were decent and filling but left much to be desired.

"That's good to hear. You can just head on up to Amelia's room. You two have a great night."

"We will."

Lucas walked into his girlfriend's room, where she was sitting at her laptop, facing away from the door. He quietly tiptoed over to her and hugged her from behind. "Lukie!" she squealed, kissing him. "What movie should we watch?"

Staring up at her impressive selection of DVDs, he thought for a minute. "Beauty and the Beast. I'm in the mood for a lighthearted Disney film, and that's your favorite."

"That's exactly what I was thinking." Amelia smiled at her boyfriend. "We sure are on the same wavelength today." The two sat on Amelia's bed with their arms around each other, as they began watching the movie on her laptop. By the end of the movie, Lucas had fallen fast asleep, and Amelia was playing with his hands when she noticed something.

"Lucas, Lukie, wake up!" she shrieked.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"Your arms, they're all covered with scratches! What happened? What's wrong with them?"

Lucas couldn't even think of a good lie. The only thing running through his head was "Shit, shit, I should have worn long sleeves today." He glanced up at his girlfriend, who was now standing, looking extremely concerned. Looking her straight in the eyes, he lied, "I have no idea what happened. Thanks for pointing it out. I'll get a bandage or something for that right away. I'm sure it's fine."

Amelia's expression turned doubtful. "Really? Because it looks like you've been cutting yourself. That's exactly how it looked when Samantha did that, and it turned out she was completely depressed. She had to go to therapy and everything. This isn't some little thing." She began tearing up a little, and Lucas stood up and hugged her.

"Hey, there there, it's okay. If I were at all depressed, you'd be the first person I would tell. Mark my words. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Maybe I fell during practice or something. It could have been anything."

The girl dried her eyes and tried to smile. "Okay. If I see anything else like that, we're going to one of the guidance counselors."

Lucas nodded. He had some thinking to do.

...

He finished the text and read it over carefully. Amelia, I've known for awhile that things just haven't been right between us. I enjoy spending time with you, but I truly think we'll be better off as friends. These past few months have been wonderful, and I wouldn't change that for the world, but it's time we go our separate ways. See you in school. Your friend, Lucas. Before he could rethink his decision, he pressed Send, hoping that he wouldn't hurt the girl.

It was the night after Amelia saw the cuts and scars, and although he didn't want to hurt her, it was too much of a risk to continue the relationship. As much as he desired to keep everyone happy, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop hurting himself. While a guidance counselor might help, Lucas was hesitant to tell someone his problems. How much he missed being made fun of every day, even as a joke. How much he missed seeing Riley smile at him, even when he couldn't force himself to feel the same way. How one summer, he and Maya spent a few days together on their own while Riley was on vacation. How he spent five hours a day for three days straight being made fun of and discussing his home life with Maya. How he knew all her secrets. How there was nothing he could say that would make the three of them close again. All three of them had the information needed to break each other. Maya could hurt Riley, Riley could crush Lucas, and Lucas could completely destroy Maya.

They broke themselves instead.

In just three hours, Lucas had seven missed calls and 23 texts from Amelia. He didn't have the nerve to call her and discuss the matter, so he just left it as an issue to resolve later, hoping he hadn't hurt the girl too much.

He spent the remainder of his Thursday night crying softly in his room, giving himself 30 new cuts, one for each missed call and text from Amelia. The guilt was unimaginable. It was never his intention to cause any damage.

Finally, he fell asleep with the razor blade in his hand, his wrists losing blood, as he tried to diminish the wounds. As guilty as he felt, being alive was the punishment he deserved and dying would only ruin that.


	3. Chapter 2: The Blonde Beauty

**Trigger Warning**: Self harm and Depression

I'm updating a little early, and I hope you like this. :) Chapter 3 is called Pictures, so feel free to try and guess what that's about.

Chapter 2

The Blonde Beauty

Her hair and makeup looked flawless every day. She always wore a fake smile, even when she was up all night crying. The bags under her bright blue eyes were barely noticeable. Yet those weren't the reasons Lucas dubbed her the Blonde Beauty. He would rave about how he loved her gentle charm, her confidence, and her artistic capabilities. When she painted, her eyes lit up. When she sang, she had a sense of calm that Lucas had never seen in anyone before. He had never been that calm. He was usually full-out Texas, ready to fight if he had to at a moment's notice.

Maya, however, was in constant flight mode. She hid in her room all day, avoiding her mother and Shawn, whose dates were becoming more and more frequent. She resisted the idea of having a stepfather, someone she might grow to care about. As much as she loved her mother, the idea of Shawn going from merely her mother's boyfriend to husband was terrifying. While Shawn was supportive of everything she did and came to all her art shows and choir concerts, she didn't want him to replace her father. She didn't plan on seeing her father ever again, but she liked the life she had. Even with the all-encompassing depression she felt every day, life was going smoothly enough for Maya and Katy Hart. The pair survived, even if they didn't flourish. Maya had everything she needed, and she didn't need a father. Her mother, busy as she was, was good enough. Maya would settle for good enough.

Each day was spent going through the motions, sitting quietly at the back of class, knowing that as impartial as Cory was, he would never call on her. She didn't even look Mr. Matthews in the eye. In the early days of the end of her friendship with Riley, he would still ask her how she was on a regular basis, sometimes the two would exchange a few jokes. Now it was simply awkward at best. Talking to Cory, the man who she once considered her second father, couldn't be done. There was too much baggage between the two, and the very thought of a normal student-teacher relationship sounded insane to Maya.

...

The day after Lucas broke up with Amelia, Maya noticed immediately that something was off. It wasn't as if she paid close attention to the status of their relationship, but the silence between them was clearly of the uncomfortable variety and the glances they gave each other were of longing, not love. Maya, a very observant person, figured out the exact reason as she carefully watched Lucas during history. The way he rubbed his arm, how he stared at his wrists more than Amelia, and the small glimpse she managed to get at his left arm were all clear signs. HIs position was no different from hers, and Maya wanted to make it her mission to be there for him. Although she had no clue how long he had been suffering, she never wanted anyone to be in the same boat as her, especially if Lucas wasn't too far gone.

As he packed up his stuff, she waited just outside the door. "So I take it Huckleberry is back on the market," she stated.

He looked at her in surprise. The two hadn't spoken in months. "Uh, yeah. Is it that obvious?"

"Well, other than the fact that you two usually swap spit the second you walk in and talk for half of class, maybe it'd take a little guess work."

"So it is that obvious. What does any of this have to do with you though?"

"You're not gonna like this. Can you promise not to go all Texas Lucas on me?"

He sighed. "Texas Lucas" was a phrase he hadn't heard since he their friend group had been intact. "Try me."

"I think you need help. You're exactly like me. I've been noticing some of the signs for a while, and today just cemented it in my mind. You don't think you're worth it, and you hate yourself just as much as I do."

Lucas rolled his eyes. "Listen, I don't need you. We're nothing alike. You've always been a bitch to me, and that's why we stopped talking. I'm a good person, and you're not. End of story. Maybe I'm depressed, and maybe I'm not, but I sure as hell don't need you 'helping' me recover. Thanks but no thanks." He began to walk away.

Running to keep up, Maya replied, "You just don't get it, do you? Whether you like it or not, I know what's going on, and I'm here to help you. I'm exactly where you're at. Maybe I'm even farther gone than you. And I want to save you before you get to the point I'm at. What I go through every day is something I'd never wish on anyone. I know I said a lot of things to you in the past, but I'm ready to bury the hatchet if you are. Just hear me out, Ranger Rick."

"Fine. Just quit calling me Ranger Rick. You and I both know that you lost your rights to any nicknames a long time ago."

"You always thought you were like Riley, and maybe that's true. When the two of you are happy, you do everything for other people, and I've never been good at that. But when Riley's upset, she places blame on others. After we won favorite couple, she tried to blame me for it. When Mr. Matthews gave her that empty box, she didn't think to herself, 'Maybe it was something I did.' When people like you and me are upset, we look inward. We blame ourselves, and I bet I can tell you way more about yourself than you'd like me to. I bet you've stayed up all night crying. I bet you count the number of times you do something wrong and hurt yourself one time for each. Maybe twice for each if you the number is low. I bet you didn't tell anyone because you didn't want to cause people more pain than you think you already did. And I bet you want to deny all of this right now. But you know you can't, and that kills you."

Lucas stared at Maya for almost 30 seconds, running through possible methods of avoiding the conversation. There was only one thing he could think of to say. "How exactly do you know that?"

She looked into his eyes, something she hadn't done in years and took off her jacket, ushering him into an uncrowded part of the hallway. Slowly, with great care, she removed several bracelets and armbands from her wrists, so Lucas could see the scars. They ran all the way up and down each arm, and when Lucas touched them in disbelief, she winced. "Because I do too."

The boy enveloped her into a hug. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. How long have you been doing this?"

"It's not your fault. And remember when you moved here?"

"Yeah, at the beginning of seventh grade. Why?"

"It was the summer before that. The longest I've been clean is about a month. I can't even be sure if it was that long."

"And no one knows? Not even Riley or Farkle?" Maya shook her head. "Why did you start?"

"When my mom started working full-time, and my dad stopped sending me letters, a bunch of girls found out about my dad's other family. They would make fun of me, say I was undesirable, and tell me that my dad never really wanted me in the first place. They called me an accident, and I felt like a fucking joke. So I went home, and I tried to kill myself. It didn't work, but I liked how much pain I could make myself feel. It felt so good finally being in control for once. I guess I just never really stopped."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have done something. You know I would. Who did this to you?"

"I didn't tell you because I didn't really know you at the time. When you moved here, I was afraid of letting people in. And after, well, you would never believe which two girls primarily made fun of me."

"Try me."

"Missy Robinson and Amelia Long."

"That's bullshit. I spent three months with Amelia, and she might not be my favorite person in the world, but there's no way she would do that to anyone."

"Exactly. If I had told you about Missy, you would have thought I was just trying to mess with your friendship with her, so you could be more focused on Riley. And Amelia is way too nice to everyone else for you to realize it, but she just doesn't like people who are different. People like Riley, Farkle, and me. She and her friends made fun of Riley all the time in eighth grade. They told her to stop being herself, and I still hate them for it. Even though I'm not friends with Riley anymore, I still can't imagine why anyone would want to hurt her so badly. Now do you believe me?"

"I don't want to, but I don't see why you'd lie to me. I also can't believe you didn't trust me enough to tell me right away. Back then, I would've believed anything you told me."

"Really? You actually trusted me?"

"Yeah. I liked you better than Riley for a long time. There were a lot of times that I just looked at you and thought that we could have a future together. Now I don't know what to think. I don't know how I feel about anyone."

"Come on, Lucas. I need to show you something."

"Don't we have to get to class?"

"You haven't changed a bit. You're still Mr. Perfect, aren't you?" Lucas shrugged and nodded his head. "How much school have you missed this year?"  
"I came in late to first period a few times, but that's about it."

"You can afford to skip the next few classes, trust me. Growing up is realizing that sometimes your mental health is more important than grades and getting things done. You'll thank me for this later."

Maya led him out of the building, taking shortcuts through alleys and jaywalking. Even though she loved taking longer routes through the city, it was her primary goal to get Lucas back to school at a reasonable time. She didn't want him to get too worked up about missing class.

Finally, she stopped at the dead end of an alley, where a group of about ten people were gathered. Most of them were dressed similarly to Maya: ripped jeans, band t-shirts, and combat boots. Some wore leather jackets, some wore necklaces and had multiple piercings, and a few, Lucas observed, had scars on their wrists that matched Maya and Lucas's. From what he could tell, their ages ranged from high school to mid-twenties.

One of the older girls with scars and bright red hair went up to Maya and hugged her. "Hey sweetie. Who's the boy?"

"Scarlett, this is Lucas. He's a friend from school."

Scarlett gave Lucas a huge hug. "I can already tell that you're a lot like us, as I'm sure Maya has told you. All of us have gone through something traumatic and most of us suffer from some sort of mental disorder. We hang out here pretty often and talk, laugh, smoke, whatever we need to do in order to get our mind off our problems. You could almost say it's a support group of sorts, but we don't have a therapist or a counselor. It's all people who've been through similar experiences and who hurt because of it. It's a safe place, so unless someone's life is in immediate danger, we try not to tell anyone else about each other's problems."

"So what do you think?" Maya asked.

"It's not bad." He touched the cement walls, which were all covered with drawings, everything from flowers to skulls. Some of the drawings had MH signed underneath. "Are these all yours?"

"Some are mine. The ones that say MH are, and the ones that say RN are Rick's," she explained, gesturing to a boy in the corner, drawing something with a piece of blue chalk. "He's a freshman at some really fancy prep school on the Upper West side. His dad is insanely rich and wants him to be a doctor, but Rick just wants to experiment and be his own person. I bet you know how that feels." She locked eyes with Lucas, and he nodded.

"Yeah, I get that. So what about everyone else?"

Maya pointed at each of the people in the group and introduced them. "That's Sierra, David, Andy, Tyler, Renee, Paul, Joelle, Brianna, Mitch, Kylie, and Sammy. And of course there's Scarlett and Rick. We all just hang around here, and it's wonderful."

"They're really all your friends?"

"All of them. I know all their stories, and every single one is important to me. I'd do anything for them, and they'd do anything for me. That's what a friend is. We come here every day and just spend time with each other. Savannah and Dash aren't here though, but we all have lives and can't spend all our time here. Sometimes I wish I could though."

"I don't want to press too much for information, but do you guys do anything illegal?"

"Well, besides graffiti, drugs, and maybe a little underage drinking, no. There are a couple people who've done worse. Joelle has three little kids, and she's been forced to steal to support them. Her checks from the government are never enough, and even with two part time jobs, there's not always enough money to keep food on the table and keep everyone warm and happy. It's the same as what I went through as a kid. I was lucky that my mom never had to commit crimes just to support me. Hearing the stories of everyone else makes me feel lucky. My pain isn't the only pain in the world, and it's not even close to the worst. But everyone here is sympathetic. There are degrees of pain, but we've all hit our breaking points at least once in our lives. That's what brings us together."

"Am I allowed to come here? My situation isn't horrible, and I know I don't want to participate in anything illegal, but I think I could use the support group atmosphere. Will everyone be okay with it? Will they even like me?"

Maya held his hand. "They'll love you. I don't think there's anyone who wouldn't."


	4. Chapter 3: Pictures

Reviews always appreciated! Thank you for reading :)

Chapter 3

Pictures

"And if something beautiful ever happens, paint me a picture."

Some of Maya's artwork still resided in the Matthews's home. After six months of not being friends, Cory and Riley still glanced at it from time to time, memorizing the small details and quirks that made Maya stand out from other artists. Her colored pencils and paintbrushes flawlessly captured the way light moved, and her shadowing was stunningly realistic. Almost every piece contained some hidden message of her hopes and dreams, whether it was a cowboy boot or a horse that made her think of Lucas or a young mother or a restaurant in the background to remind her of her mother. Riley could name the hidden details in each painting with ease. She considered it a small feat, just barely making up for the time she had wasted not being there for her former best friend. Although apologizing was all but impossible at this point, seeing Maya in class every day pained her.

On the evening of the Friday when Maya introduced Lucas to her friends, Farkle, Zay, and Sarah Carpenter came to the Matthews's apartment for dinner. After Maya and Riley began fighting, Riley and Sarah became closer friends. The pair exchanged many secrets, and while they still weren't as close as Riley and Maya ever were, they often spent time together at Riley's apartment or at various locations around the city. They shared a common interest in museums and the Matthews clan frequently invited Sarah, Farkle, and Zay on family outings. Yet, Sarah never quite measured up to Riley's expectations. The two were incredibly similar, rarely getting in trouble and almost always making the correct decisions, rendering Cory's attempts at aligning his teaching with their lives useless. Life was almost too perfect for Riley, and her feelings about that were mixed. When she thought about it, the heart of her former friend group was Maya. Maya made everything fun.

"So how was school?" Topanga asked the kids.

Auggie, a proud second grader, excitedly rambled about his day, "Ava, Doy, and I are learning about giraffes before our trip to the zoo! It's so cool. And my teacher picked me for student of the week" He grinned proudly at his mother.

"That's great Auggie!" Riley exclaimed, giving her younger brother a one-armed hug, so she didn't have to get up from the table. "We've been doing a lot in school, but nothing too out there. Just a lot of tests and stuff. Sarah and I have been keeping up with everything though. Some kids have been talking about college already, and that's pretty stressful."

"That's true. I don't even have any ideas, except maybe NYU," Sarah agreed.

"My dad's having me look at a bunch of Ivy League schools. Cornell is pretty tempting because it has great science programs, but he's also pushing the University of Pennsylvania. That's where he and mom went," Farkle replied.

Topanga, who always went out of her way to reassure her kids, stated, "You guys don't have to start worrying so much about colleges yet. There's about two years before you need to send in your applications. Just enjoy your sophomore year and do well." She smiled. "Maybe over the summer we can consider touring a few universities in the area though."

Nodding, Cory said, "That's a great idea. Two years will go by in a flash, and it's important to be ahead of the crowd."

Just as Zay was about to speak up regarding his dreams of moving back to Texas, the phone rang.

As Cory spoke to the person on the other end of the line and listened patiently, nodding his head, his face appeared more and more concerned. After several minutes of almost complete silence, he finally said, "I'll be there as soon as I can." Hanging up the phone, with tears in his eyes, he regarded his family in a solemn manner. "We have to go to the hospital. Maya and Lucas were in an accident."


	5. Chapter 4: Losing Her

This chapter is pretty sad. I may have cried while writing it.

Chapter 4

Losing Her

Riley stared at her father in utter shock. "Why did they call you? Why not Mrs. Hart or Shawn?"

"We're still listed as the emergency contacts if something happens to Maya. They must have called us because no one else could be reached."

"Should we all go? I'm not sure if I'm ready to see Maya and Lucas again, especially not like this."

"This is your decision, Riley." Cory looked at his daughter seriously. "We'll support you no matter what, but you have to choose."

"I think Zay, Farkle, and I should all go. Maybe Sarah could stay with mom and Auggie though." As her friends nodded in agreement, Zay, Farkle, Riley, and Cory headed for the door to find out what was wrong."

...

On the way to the hospital, Cory ran a few red lights, in a huge rush to figure out what was wrong with his daughter's old friends. Parking somewhat haphazardly, the three teenagers and he raced into the emergency room and straight to the front desk.

"We're looking for Lucas Friar and Maya Hart," Cory stated.

The young blonde woman working there glanced up, "Are you Mr. Matthews?" As Cory nodded and showed her his ID, she explained the situation. "We found Lucas and Maya over on East 54th Street. They were victims of a drunk driving accident. The women driving their vehicle, Scarlett Brooks, was very intoxicated." Holding up a picture of Scarlett, she asked Cory if he recognized the woman. He sighed and shook his head no.

"Are we allowed in their room? Do you know their current states?" Cory asked.

"Maya is over in the Intensive Care Unit. Right now, only Mr. Matthews would be permitted inside. She's in extremely critical condition, and that generally means that family only can visit. However, since you're an emergency contact, and her family hasn't been reached yet, you can head on inside. Lucas, on the other hand, you can all see. His arm is broken, and he has a few other minor injuries. He should be released from the hospital after a day or so of monitoring."

"Dad, do you want to check on Maya while we visit Lucas?" Riley asked, tears brimming in her eyes."

"Will you guys be able to handle it?"

"I think so." After giving his daughter a quick hug in encouragement, Cory headed for the ICU, praying for Maya the whole way.

...

It took several minutes for Riley, Farkle, and Zay to muster the courage to even open the door to Lucas's room.

"This is all my fault. If I hadn't asked Lucas out, our friend group never would have fallen apart, and none of this would have happened." Riley let out an enormous sigh.

"Not everything has to be your problem," Farkle countered. Riley sat down on the floor in the hallway, and Farkle and Zay followed suit. "This doesn't have anything to do with you and Lucas dating or you and Maya having that fight. Some things just aren't caused by your actions."

"Do you really think they want to see us though? I don't even think any of us are friends with Maya and Lucas at this point."

"Farkle and I see Lucas in the halls from time to time. We always exchange a friendly word. I doubt we'll ever be close again, but I think he'd appreciate us if we stopped in," Zay said.

"Fine, we'll go in," Riley decided.

Farkle opened the door. Without looking up from the book he held in his good arm, Lucas said, "Nurse Emily, if it's not too much trouble, could you get me a bit more water? The doctors still don't want me getting up."

"It's us." Farkle and Lucas locked eyes.

"How did you find out?" Lucas asked. "Did you hear anything about Maya?"

"They called Mr. Matthews because he's Maya's emergency contact. She's in really bad shape, and we don't know if she'll make it yet," Farkle explained.

"Fuck. Why did she have to be such an idiot? She barely knows Scarlett or any of those other people. Scarlett was clearly drunk, and Maya insisted it didn't matter. She said, 'No, no, no, Lucas, it'll be fine, nothing could possibly go wrong.' And silly me, I followed. Just like I always do. I always do what other people tell me to. If I were at all intelligent, I would have kept arguing with her. She never should have gotten into that car."

"Who's Scarlett?" Zay asked.

"Some girl from this group of people Maya ditches school to hang out with. They all sit around talking in some back alley. They seem safe enough, but she told me that she doesn't really see them outside of that alley. That car ride was the first time she had gone anywhere else with one of them. Scarlett offered her a ride home after a few of them had some beers. And all Maya really knows about any of these guys are the stories they tell her. Maybe they're safe enough, but they're not her friends. We were her friends. Now we're not. None of us were friends, and I hate myself for it."

"Maya's pretty headstrong. There's nothing you could have done to stop it," Farkle tried to reassure Lucas.

"You just wouldn't understand. You weren't there."

Suddenly Riley's ringtone began to sound. "Hello?" she asked. "Yeah, we are." Pause. "Oh my god." Pause. "I'll be right over."

"What's wrong?" Zay asked, finally speaking up.

"That was my dad. Maya stopped breathing, and they think this could be the end. He told them how we were close for such a long time, and they said I could be with her if I want to."

"Can we come?" Farkle asked.

"I don't think you're supposed to. And you better stay here with Lucas." She gestured toward the boy, who had begun sobbing.

...

Riley opened the door.

"You can tell me we have to let go of her one million times, but I will never believe it. We won't lose her. We just won't." Shawn was completely definitive while talking to one of the doctors, as he clutched Katy Hart's hand, in an attempt to make her stop crying. "I love her." And with that, he broke into tears.


End file.
